04.28.08: If Sonny was a cat…

…and I’m just saying…wouldn’t his nine lives have been up about ten years ago? No? One can dream can’t they? And how ironic that his “piece” was the one thing that saved his life…hmm.

All right, scouts honor, I didn’t watch the ENTIRE episode…sorry, I confess, I have a life. And frankly, this “sweeps” could easily be swept under the proverbial rug…or just any old raggidy rug will do. Meaning…this “sweeps” or lackthereof will most likely be forgotten sooner rather than later. Now, I may be bias in this upcoming opinion, but the screen doesn’t lie. If Laura Wright hadn’t been acting her ASS off during this unfortunate storyline with comatose Michael, I would’ve turned my TV off weeks ago, BUT, her performance and her performance alone has kept me tuned in. With that said, give the woman an Emmy nomination. Do you hear that Emmy gods? Do ya?! We’ll find out soon enough. Emmy noms come out this Wednesday on The View.

Back to the show. Despite the fact that most of the show was a big fat snore, I did enjoy the fact that someone other than, well…no one was showing a little concern for Jax. Hell we got a two for one, Jerry then Alexis.  J-Lex…lovely image. LULU! What the hello kitty is wrong with that idiot? Has she completely lost her flippin mind? If she had it her way, she would conduct weekly peer mediation session between Johnny and Sonny. I can just see it…”Now, boys, put away your guns, there’s no need for anger and hostility.” Meanwhile Sonny and Johnny are about to beat each others brains out. Lulu needs to find a hobby, like I don’t know, going to school, or getting abducted by aliens or something. Maybe she could take up a career as a mime. That way I wouldn’t have to listen to her abnoxiousness, I’d just have to watch her flail her arms around everywhere like she’s a helicopter ready for take off.

Spinmax, Spixie, pixie sticks…whatever they’re called were actually pretty entertaining today. Faking apendicitis is always the way to get out of a jam. Why not just slip the guy a roofie, get in get out, do what ya need to do and split. It’s simple enough. Maybe that’s what Kate slipped Sonny…maybe. Kidding, kidding. I was actually shocked…like getting electrocuted shocked, that I somewhat kind of, sort of, liked those Skate scenes. At least somebody gets to have sex on Carjax’s anniversary, since they don’t. Buh dump chsssssh, I’m here all week, well partially.

This one’s in the oven and roasted.

I’m out.